The Inside Scoop On Couples’ Therapy
5 therapy tips from couples’ counsellors.
Therapy 26th Sep, 2021
The idea of diving into couples’ therapy can be scary. Can you really muster the courage to analyse your most important relationship in front of strangers? In order to save your travel time, here you have some information from therapists on which recommendations they repeat most often.
1. Pay Attention To Problems That Continue To Arise:
Couples usually fight over the same thing, time after time. The couple unconsciously repeats the old pattern to hold on to the familiar things, while at the same time, hope that this time the situation will be different and be free from the pain. Once you start to see and understand this pattern, there will be natural healing and growth opportunities in your relationship. It is advisable to build a strong bond with your partner. But this will not happen in a dramatic crescendo like in movies.
2. Prioritise Your Intimacy:
The terms “intimacy” and “proximity” are often used interchangeably, but they are pretty different. Proximity means comfort. This is low-risk, low-fear, predictable, and familiar. Proximity is necessary for all relationships, but proximity without intimacy is just staying halfway into creating a better commitment. Intimacy is about adventure, novelty, unpredictability, and spontaneity. Intimacy means you have a close and sensual relationship with your partner. Proximity means you have a relationship with the idea or concept of your partner.
3. Compassion Comes First:
Couples will inevitably have differences and sometimes even cause each other pain inadvertently. In this case, it is essential to remember that the important thing is not to break but to repair. Learning to approach each other with empathy and compassion can help couples overcome any temporary loss of contact and strengthen the relationship. The process of keeping close to your partner and working to truly repair the relationship are great ways to rebuild bridges that can enhance the relationship in the long run.
4. You Can Always Cut Your Partner Some Slack:
If there is one thing that makes a successful couple relationship different, each partner can support the other. Support allows us to accept ourselves and our partners. It will enable us to go beyond the bad outcomes and understand that people are imperfect. Although this may be taken for granted by some, it can also be learned by many. Instead of criticising your partner harshly, simply try to get in their shoes to understand their motives.
5. Prioritise Yourself For a Better Sex Life:
Many couples have had a higher level of sexual interest and arousal towards their partners in the past. They usually worry that they feel very wrong because they do not feel the same anymore. One of the most important aspects of restoring sex is to make time for it. Give yourself a chance to rest and practice romantic sex. Although the goal of most people is to have more sexual intimacy with their partner, this can only be achieved by paying more attention to having sex. Part of this involves actively aligning oneself with the needs and desires of the body and cultivating personal comfort and acceptance of the body. Losing sexual interest is a common thing in every relationship. Knowing how to deal with this can be challenging. But it is normal. You only need to learn how to deal with it.