4 Reasons Why You Need Couples’ Therapy

How seeking therapy can save your relationship.

What is Therapy? 18th Jul, 2021

All couples experience conflict. Some people fight for money; for others, it is a lack of sex or constant fighting. Therapy can help. Contrary to what some people might believe, this is not about blaming each other, instead, couples’ therapy provides tools to communicate and ask what you need. According to the American Psychological Association, more than 75% of couples who choose treatment say that it improved their relationship. Many partners struggled together for many years before trying treatment. Still, it’s always better to do this early in the process. The longer an unhealthy behaviour and resentment last, the harder it is to change. 

Common Reasons To Seek Couples’ Therapy: 

The following are four common reasons couples seek help in relationships: 

1. There Is Too Much Distance Between You: 

After many years of marriage, some couples no longer feel close to each other and just live together like roommates. The divorce rate reaches its peak at different times. The first peak is 7 years into the relationship and the second at about 21 years. If you want to avoid divorce, you need to learn that it’s about avoiding, not fighting. Lovers often forget what brought them together in the first place and why they fell in love. If you’ve been with someone for a long time, you’ve established a life narrative, memory, and story that you can’t make up with other people. Couples therapy can help rekindle this. 

2. You Have a Conflict Over Money: 

Money has always been a controversial topic for couples. Conflicts can stem from the way you spend money to disagreements on how to save for retirement. You may feel pressure from not having enough money, or there may be inequalities in the way your reserves are managed. Money can cause intense anger, anxiety, and jealousy. It has such a high-power value that, unless a partner with a lower income has another psychological impact, it can cause an imbalance in the relationship. Therapy helps people understand their relationship to money and how money shapes their views of themselves and others. 

3. Someone Is Unfaithful: 

One of the most common reasons for couples’ therapy is to repair the destruction of trust and deception that results from infidelity. If a couple has had an affair, there must be a way back. About a third of married couples survived an affair. Still, generally speaking, they are people who are going to get treatment and do whatever they can to save their marriage. In fact, having an affair is often the motivation to deal with things that have been avoided for years. 

4. You Have a Lot Of Useless And Hurtful Arguments: 

We all have different ways of dealing with conflict. Some of us thrive on confrontation because we know that the other partner is willing to change when things get hot. Then there is the passive attack strategy. Big fights will leave tears and hurtful feelings, but frequent fights can also be destructive. A couple can be caught in a repeating cycle. Over and over again, this is the same argument. The argument itself is not a bad thing. It’s all about the way people handle conflict that can make it unhealthy. In other words: it is not necessarily what you say, but how you say it. Most times, arguments lead to criticism, complaints, and bad comments. Other times these can be abusive. Couples’ therapy teaches you how to resolve differences in a healthy, reasonable, and respectful way. Always bear in mind that you need to plan how the conversation begins as it sets the tone.

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