So You’re Different. 7 Ways It Does Get Better
Spoiler alert: It does, it gets so much better!
Mental Health 25th May, 2021
When you’re different the popular slogan “it gets better” sounds empty and hollow when people say it. They don’t know you, right? They don’t understand what you’re going through. You’re different, hurting. You think it’s not going to get better.
You feel stuck in your head and you’re unsure of what’s next. That empty feeling causes you to daydream in the shower. You go to work without remembering how you arrived there. Maybe you’re having a rough time because you broke up with your partner and you still don’t know why. You say it’s their fault, but a small voice in your head says it might be yours…
My response to these messages is always the same: Things will always get better. Here’s how getting better works. This is the part that nobody tells you.
So, You’re Different:
There Are People Who Are Going To Help You:
The vast majority of people can be selfish, if not actively malicious, but there are a few gems out there who will genuinely try their best to get you to a better place.
They can be doctors, counsellors / psychologists, they can be friends and lovers. They will teach you lessons by accident and on purpose. They will help you to be the best person you can be, because they know you’re worth it. Even if they move out of your life, what they did for you lives on. So you know not to give up on yourself.
Know That One Bad Day Is Not The End Of The World:
When you are on the path to reaching your goals, think of the end goal as if you have won the war. Along the way there will be a series of battles that you have to win, but you won’t be able to win them all. That doesn’t matter, because you don’t have to win all the battles to win the main war, just the majority.
If you are having a bad day, week, month or even year, try to see the bigger picture in terms of your end goal. Chances are that in the grand scheme of things, it won’t matter. If you can remind yourself that one bad day isn’t the end of the world, you’ll be able to push yourself on so much further. Give it a shot, it is easier than you think.
In my experience, most people don’t ask enough questions – either they are too scared or embarrassed or they just can’t be bothered. I don’t know why, but we seem to live in a culture where asking questions implies that you aren’t clever.
The beauty of asking questions, is that you can find out more and learn from others by doing so. Picking the brains of others, you can absorb their knowledge without having made the same mistakes they did. Ask questions to the right people and you can help to reach your goals.
Remember there’s no such thing as a “dumb” question.
Feel The Emotions:
Life is full of ups and downs and if it wasn’t, it would probably be pretty boring! When reaching your goals and pushing yourself further, it helps if you can be open to the emotions that come with it. There will be times of joy and celebration, and there will also be times when all you want to do is not leave the house.
It is OK to cry! Don’t fight the emotions, but instead ride them through. You’ll come out stronger on the other side. It’s ok not to be ok sometimes. Friends can offer great support or even a shoulder to cry on without judgment.
Don’t Compare Yourself To Others:
There is always going to be someone who is more successful, prettier, skinnier, has a better job, earns more money, has more friends or has a more luxurious lifestyle than you. Don’t compare yourself with others.
You should be pushing yourself on because you want to and not because you feel you have too. Besides, the person with the five bedroom house and two sports cars sitting in the driveway, might not even be that happy! You are your own benchmark.
Eat Healthy And Exercise:
You cannot expect to achieve great things if your body and mind aren’t running at full capacity. Your body needs to be correctly fuelled, maintained and trained if you are expecting to achieve.
It is important to be healthy, in both mind and body. Eating healthily and exercising are key to this. A simple formula, but it works and anyone can adopt this habit. Of course you don’t have to go overboard – no one likes the obsessive person – but make sure you’re taking the right steps to ensure a good well-being.
As they say on an airplane. You must put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping others.
Know That You Are In Control Of Your Life:
This is very important and a lot of us easily forget. The beauty in life is that you are in the driver’s seat. It is up to you how you steer your life and what the end destination is.
If you can drive yourself in the right direction, you’ll be giving yourself the power to go where you want to. Knowing this and doing this will help to keep you focused. Especially on those days when you don’t feel like it. Of course, we can’t predict or stop external circumstances, but you can do your best to swerve to avoid them or drive right over them.
YOU ARE IN CONTROL! IT DOES GET BETTER!