You Don’t Need to Fit in to Belong – Easy Tips to Beat Loneliness and Find Happiness

Finding Joy Beyond Expectations

17th Apr, 2023

It’s no secret that feeling lonely is something everyone experiences, but finding ways to move past it can be a challenge. The challenge is to overcome loneliness, not by simply fitting in, but by finding authentic ways to belong. This requires deep self-reflection and the establishment of genuine relationships.

a lonely man thinking how to fit in.

While fitting in with others can seem like the easy solution, it can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection truly yourself, and developing strong relationships with others is the secret to defeating loneliness.

It’s important to embrace your true self and create genuine bonds with those around you to combat feelings of isolation.

The Difference Between Fitting in and Belonging

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

Fitting In

Fitting in is like adjusting yourself to fit in with a group’s expectations or norms. It’s all about trying to be accepted by conforming to what others want. This can involve tweaking or hiding parts of who you are to blend in and avoid being left out. The main goal is to be liked by others, even if it means not showing your true self.


Belonging is about being accepted and loved for who you truly are. It’s feeling secure and supported in a group or relationship, where you can be yourself without pretending. Belonging comes from being authentic, showing respect, and building genuine connections where differences are valued and respected.

Understanding the difference between fitting in and belonging is essential for personal well-being and the cultivation of healthy, supportive relationships. Striving to fit in can lead to a loss of self-identity, increased anxiety, and potential isolation when the effort to maintain a facade becomes too great.

Common Causes of Loneliness

It’s critical to recognize the symptoms of loneliness and take action to combat it, including making social connections and participating in activities that give one a sense of meaning and community.

Understanding the causes of loneliness and taking proactive actions to combat it can help people improve their overall well-being and live happier, healthier lives.

  • A Change in Living Situation 
  • A Lack of Close Confidants
  • Poor Physical or Mental Health
  • Death of a Loved One
  • Having Financial Problems
  • Living Alone

How can I manage Loneliness?

Dealing with loneliness includes self-care, connecting with others, and participating in activities that create connection and purpose. Here are a few strategies:

  • Acknowledge your feelings recognize and accept your feelings of loneliness without judgment.

  • Reach out to others and make an effort to connect with friends or family members, even if it’s just a text message or a call.

  • Volunteering and giving back to the community can provide a sense of purpose and connection with others.

  • Adopt a pet

  • Stay active engage in physical activities or exercise regularly

  • Try new hobbies or activities

  • Limit social media use

  • Seek a professional help

  • Be Mindfulness and Meditation

  • Set small, achievable goals with small steps to increase your social interactions

  • Try to learn something new

  • Create a routine

It’s important to take action gradually and be patient with yourself as you navigate through feelings of loneliness.

Need to Get Over Mental Health Issues?

Here are 5 Holistic Approaches To Mental Holistic Health

Find out How to Enjoy Your Own Company More

Having many friends and contacts doesn’t guarantee you won’t feel lonely. For some, loneliness is connected to low self-esteem or self-confidence. Enhancing relationships with ourselves and others can reduce loneliness.

Consider what self-care means to you as it varies for everyone. Some find comfort in background noise like TV, radio, or podcasts. Try activities you enjoy alone, such as walking, arts, cooking, or watching a movie. Experiment with different things to find what makes you feel good. Be patient with yourself during this process.

Overcoming Loneliness and Finding True Belonging

Overcoming loneliness and finding true belonging is a journey that many undertake in the quest for deeper connections and a more fulfilling life. The essence of this journey is not just about being surrounded by people but about cultivating meaningful relationships and environments where one can thrive authentically.

How to Find Happiness

Finding happiness is a deeply personal and ongoing journey, influenced by our actions, mindset, and how we engage with the world around us. While happiness can mean different things to different people, there are universal strategies that can help cultivate a sense of well-being and fulfillment.

  • Take care of yourself
  • Find hobbies that bring you joy

  • Practice mindfulness

  • Write your feelings down

  • Give back to others

  • Set goals for growth

Remember, happiness isn’t constant but a result of moments and choices. It’s okay not to feel happy all the time.

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

A major barrier that might keep us from interacting with people where you fit in and forming deep friendships is the fear of rejection. This apprehension may result from previous rejections, unfavorable self-talk, or a lack of confidence.

When we are afraid of rejection, we may avoid social situations or hesitate to take positive steps toward building relationships.

Everyone experiences rejection at some point, and it’s not a reflection of our worth or value as individuals. It’s essential to challenge negative self-talk and beliefs that may be fueling our fear of rejection. Building self-confidence and enhancing our willingness to take chances may both be accomplished by reframing negative beliefs into positive ones.

It’s also helpful to start small when taking steps toward building connections. This could mean reaching out to an acquaintance where you fit in for coffee or attending a social event with a friend.

Practicing these small actions can help to build confidence and increase comfort levels when it comes to social situations. Another helpful strategy is to focus on giving rather than receiving.

We are less concerned with the prospect of rejection and more concerned with positively affecting others when we approach social encounters with the intention of giving, such as by providing support or a listening ear.

And last, getting expert assistance from a therapist or counselor might help you get over your fear of being rejected. They can provide tools and strategies for building self-confidence and overcoming negative thought patterns.

It might help to Heal your Emotion

Recommended: How to Heal Yourself Emotionally: A Powerful 10-Step Guide

The Bottom Line

We may actively battle loneliness if we are aware of its frequent causes where you fit in, which include social isolation, life changes, and mental health problems.

Strategies for overcoming loneliness include reaching out to friends and family for social support, joining clubs or groups that align with our interests, volunteering, practicing self-care, and embracing vulnerability.

Additionally, getting professional assistance can be a successful strategy for overcoming loneliness and enhancing general well-being

We may overcome loneliness and create deep connections with people by implementing these techniques into our everyday routines, which will ultimately result in a happier and more satisfying existence.


  1. Zhang, W., Liu, L., Tang, F., & Dong, X. (2018). Social Engagement and Sense of Loneliness and Hopelessness: Findings From the PINE Study. Gerontology & geriatric medicine4, 2333721418778189. Accessed April 17, 2023
  2. American Journal of Epidemiology, “Social Isolation and Mortality in US Black and White Men and Women,” Accessed April 17, 2023

Read Next

Post Loved!