How To Split The Holidays When Married

Finding a Solution that Works for Everyone: Navigating Holiday Challenges as an LGBT+ Couple.

09th Apr, 2023

The holiday season is a time for celebration and joy, but it can also be a source of stress and conflict for many couples. This is especially true for members of the LGBT+ community who may face the challenge of navigating family dynamics that may not always be accepted.

However, with a bit of planning and communication, it is possible to split the holidays in a respectful, enjoyable, and inclusive way.

In this guide, we will explore some tips and strategies for splitting the holidays when married as an LGBT+ couple.

Spliting The Holidays When Married

Understanding the Challenges of Splitting Holidays

For many couples, the holiday season is a time to unite with loved ones, share traditions, and create cherished memories. However, for LGBT+ couples, deciding how to split holidays can be daunting, fraught with challenges that heterosexual couples may not have to consider.

One of the biggest challenges is the potential for unaccepting family members, which can emotionally strain the couple. It’s important to acknowledge these challenges and offer reassurance that finding a solution that works for everyone is possible.

Couples can navigate the holiday season with joy and unity by understanding the unique challenges of splitting holidays as an LGBT+ couple and approaching the situation with open communication and a willingness to compromise.

Communication is Key

Effective communication is vital for any successful relationship, and this is especially true when it comes to splitting holidays as an LGBT+ couple. Here are some tips for communicating openly and honestly with your partner:

  • Set aside dedicated time to discuss holiday plans, ideally before the season’s stress sets in.
  • Use “I” statements to express concerns or preferences, such as “I feel anxious when we spend too much time with my family.”
  • Be open to listening to your partner’s concerns and perspectives, and practice active listening by reflecting on what they have said to ensure understanding.
  • Be willing to compromise and find creative solutions, such as alternating holidays or splitting time between families.
  • Remember that communication is an ongoing process, and finding a holiday plan that works for both partners may take time.

    By prioritizing open and honest communication, you and your partner can navigate the challenges of splitting holidays with grace and understanding.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial for the emotional well-being of LGBT+ couples during the holiday season. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with family members who may not be accepting.

Couples can set boundaries by respectfully expressing their needs and preferences. For example, they can explain that they will not tolerate derogatory comments or insensitive behavior toward their relationship.

Sticking to established boundaries is essential, even if it may be challenging. Doing so can help create a safe and comfortable environment for everyone involved.

Couples can prioritize their mental and emotional health by setting boundaries and ensuring a happier and healthier holiday season.

Be Creative with Solutions

With open communication and a willingness to compromise, couples can begin to think creatively about holiday solutions.

When splitting holidays, it’s important to remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Encourage couples to get creative and think outside of the box. Some alternative solutions could include the following:

  • Hosting their holiday celebration: This can allow couples to start their traditions and create a holiday that includes both partners’ families and values.
  • Celebrating on a different day: Instead of trying to split the holiday itself, couples can choose to celebrate on an extra day that works better for everyone involved.
  • Alternating holidays: Couples can agree to alternate which family they spend the holiday with each year, ensuring that both families get to spend time together.

    Emphasize the importance of being flexible and open to trying new traditions. By being creative with solutions, couples can find a way to make the holidays work for everyone involved.

Consider Starting New Traditions

When couples face unaccepting families or difficult family dynamics during the holiday season, it can be a good opportunity to start new traditions that better reflect their values and lifestyles. For example, couples can consider taking a vacation together during the holiday season to celebrate in a more relaxed and supportive environment.

They can choose to visit a place they have always wanted to go to or a destination that resonates with their shared interests. This can also be a good chance to reconnect with each other and create new memories that can be cherished for years to come.

Another option is to volunteer at a local shelter or community organization, which can be a great way to give back to the community and make a positive impact during the holiday season. This can also be a good opportunity to bond with each other and meet like-minded people who share similar values and interests.

Couples can also consider creating their own traditions that honor their identities and relationship. This can include anything from hosting a holiday party with friends who are accepting and supportive, to cooking a special meal together or exchanging meaningful gifts that reflect their shared interests and values.

By starting new traditions, couples can take control of their holiday experience and create a celebration that feels authentic and meaningful to them. It also allows them to prioritize their own mental and emotional well-being, which is essential during the holiday season.


The holiday season can be stressful for anyone, and it can be even more overwhelming for LGBT+ couples navigating family dynamics. Teams must prioritize self-care during this time; many different practices can help.

Encourage couples to find a self-care routine that works for them, whether meditation, exercise, or taking time for a favorite hobby.

Remind them that it’s okay to take a break from family gatherings and prioritize their mental and emotional well-being.

Couples can better navigate the challenges of splitting holidays and enjoy the season by caring for themselves.

The Bottom Line

Splitting holidays as an LGBT+ couple can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that communication, creativity, self-care, and setting boundaries can help navigate the process. Couples can find a solution for everyone involved by prioritizing their needs and preferences.

Ultimately, the holiday season should be a time of joy and togetherness. With the right mindset and strategies, couples can maximize their holiday celebrations while honoring their identities and relationships.

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