How To Split The Holidays When Married

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Finding a Solution that Works for Everyone: Navigating Holiday Challenges as an LGBT+ Couple.

09th Apr, 2023

The holiday season is a time for celebration and joy, but it can also be a source of stress and conflict for many couples. This is especially true for members of the LGBT+ community who may face the challenge of navigating family dynamics that may not always be accepted.

However, with a bit of planning and communication, it is possible to split the holidays in a respectful, enjoyable, and inclusive way.

In this guide, we will explore some tips and strategies for split the holidays when married as an LGBT+ couple.

Spliting The Holidays When Married

Understanding the Challenges of Split the Holidays

For many couples, the holiday season is a time to unite with loved ones, share traditions, and create cherished memories. However, for LGBT+ couples, deciding how to split the holidays can be daunting, fraught with challenges that heterosexual couples may not have to consider.

One of the biggest challenges is the potential for unaccepting family members, which can emotionally strain the couple. It’s important to acknowledge these challenges and offer reassurance that finding a solution that works for everyone is possible.

Couples can navigate the holiday season with joy and unity by understanding the unique challenges of split the holidays as an LGBT+ couple and approaching the situation with open communication and a willingness to compromise.

family dinner How To Split The Holidays

Communication is Key

Effective communication is vital for any successful relationship, and this is especially true when it comes to split the holidays as an LGBT+ couple. Here are some tips for communicating openly and honestly with your partner:

Plan Dedicated Time

Set aside dedicated time to discuss holiday plans, ideally before the season’s stress sets in. This way, you can approach the topic calmly and thoughtfully.

Use “I” Statements

Express concerns or preferences using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I feel anxious when we spend too much time with my family.”

Practice Active Listening

Be open to listening to your partner’s concerns and perspectives. Reflect on what they’ve said to ensure a better understanding of their feelings.

Be Willing to Compromise

Finding a holiday plan that works for both partners may take time, so be patient and willing to compromise. Consider alternating holidays or splitting time between families to accommodate everyone’s needs.

How To Split The Holidays Set Boundaries

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial for the emotional well-being of LGBT+ couples during the holiday season. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with family members who may not be accepting.

Couples can set boundaries by respectfully expressing their needs and preferences. For example, they can explain that they will not tolerate derogatory comments or insensitive behavior toward their relationship.

Sticking to established boundaries is essential, even if it may be challenging. Doing so can help create a safe and comfortable environment for everyone involved.

Couples can prioritize their mental and emotional health by setting boundaries and ensuring a happier and healthier holiday season.

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Be Creative with Solutions

With open communication and a willingness to compromise, couples can begin to think creatively about holiday solutions.

When split the holidays, it’s important to remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Encourage couples to get creative and think outside of the box. Some alternative solutions could include the following:

  • Hosting their holiday celebration: This can allow couples to start their traditions and create a holiday that includes both partners’ families and values.
  • Celebrating on a different day: Instead of trying to split the holiday itself, couples can choose to celebrate on an extra day that works better for everyone involved.
  • Alternating holidays: Couples can agree to alternate which family they spend the holiday with each year, ensuring that both families get to spend time together.

    Emphasize the importance of being flexible and open to trying new traditions. By being creative with solutions, couples can find a way to make the holidays work for everyone involved.

a LGBTQ having a lunch proposal with the family

Consider Starting New Traditions

When couples find themselves facing unaccepting families or challenging family dynamics during the holiday season, it can present a golden opportunity to split the holidays and start new traditions that better align with their values and lifestyles. For instance, consider embarking on a vacation together during the holiday season, providing a chance to celebrate in a relaxed and supportive environment.

Imagine choosing a destination that has always held a special place in both partners’ hearts or one that resonates with their shared interests. Not only will this vacation be a beautiful way to create new and cherished memories, but it will also serve as a reconnection point for the couple, strengthening their bond and love for each other.

Alternatively, spreading love and compassion during the holiday season can be accomplished by volunteering at a local shelter or community organization. This act of kindness not only allows couples to give back to the community but also offers an excellent opportunity for them to bond with like-minded individuals who share similar values and interests. The joy of making a positive impact together during the holidays can be immeasurable.

Couples can also delve into the realm of creativity by crafting their own unique traditions that beautifully honor their identities and relationship. It could involve hosting a warm and inviting holiday party, surrounded by friends who are accepting and supportive. Cooking a special meal together can be a delightful and intimate way to bond over shared passions and create lasting memories. Consider exchanging meaningful gifts that genuinely reflect their shared interests and values, a touching gesture of love and appreciation.

By embracing these new traditions, couples reclaim their power to split the holidays and take control of their holiday experience, making it an authentic and meaningful celebration for them both. Prioritizing their mental and emotional well-being during this time becomes paramount, as the holiday season can be demanding and overwhelming. Finding solace in these new traditions can be a source of comfort and joy, allowing couples to truly enjoy the holidays in a manner that resonates with their hearts.

a gay having a Self-Care routine


During the holiday season, the pressures and demands can take a toll on anyone, and for LGBT+ couples navigating family dynamics, it can be even more overwhelming. That’s why it becomes absolutely crucial to prioritize self-care during this time of split the holidays. Encouraging couples to discover a self-care routine that speaks to their hearts can work wonders in alleviating stress and maintaining emotional well-being.

Whether it’s finding solace in meditation to center the mind and soul, engaging in regular exercise to boost endorphins and release tension, or taking time to indulge in a favorite hobby that brings joy, each couple can tailor their self-care practices to suit their unique needs and preferences.

Reminding each other that it’s okay to take a break from family gatherings, especially if they become emotionally draining, is a vital aspect of self-care during the holiday season. Sometimes, stepping back and prioritizing their mental and emotional well-being is the best decision they can make for themselves and their relationship.

By wholeheartedly caring for themselves, couples can better navigate the challenges that come with splitting the holidays. Embracing self-care creates a solid foundation of support and resilience, enabling them to enjoy the season with renewed vigor and enthusiasm.


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The Bottom Line

Navigating split the holidays as an LGBT+ couple can present its challenges, but rest assured that with effective communication, creativity, self-care, and setting boundaries, a path to a fulfilling and inclusive holiday celebration can be forged. It’s essential for couples to prioritize their needs and preferences, ensuring that everyone involved feels heard and valued during this special time of year.

Remember, the holiday season is ultimately about spreading joy and togetherness. With the right mindset and strategies in place, couples can fully embrace the spirit of the season, making the most out of their holiday celebrations while staying true to their authentic selves and honoring their unique relationship.

By fostering open and honest communication, couples can build strong bridges of understanding and find creative solutions that work for both partners. Embracing the beauty of new traditions can create heartwarming memories that will be cherished for years to come. Setting boundaries is crucial for preserving emotional well-being and protecting their love from any negativity.

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