When Attraction Disappears

What to do if you don’t feel attracted anymore towards your partner.

Relationships 26th Apr, 2021

You may well have felt electrically attracted to your partner in the early stages of your loving relationship. You couldn’t take your hands off each other because the talks were stimulating and their little quirks made them even more endearing. Assuming that you’ll be able to maintain those emotions year after year can be pure fantasy. It’s not unusual for attraction between partners to fade in long-term relationships. In this article, you will learn why you may lose attraction towards your partner and what you can do about it.

Boredom Is One Major Factor:

A stable long-term relationship requires stability and protection, but becoming too familiar with each other can make the relationship feel boring and stale. We are hardwired to enjoy and crave novelty as humans. Too much familiarity with a partner can harm our attraction to them.

There Is Unresolved Resentment Among The Partners:

If disagreements about income, unfaithfulness, sexuality, parental decisions, family drama, or unequal distribution of household responsibilities aren’t resolved reasonably and respectfully, they can breed resentment. It causes you to feel distant from or angry at your partner, resulting in a loss of attraction.

Less Interaction As Romantic Partners:

It’s all too tempting for busy couples to fall into organise mode and remain there, putting aside the romantic side of the relationship. Instead of exchanging a kiss and meeting up after work, they’re dividing up the household to-do list: cook dinner, help the kids with homework, walk the dog, sweep the bathroom, get ready for bed. People can unintentionally become fixed in their daily duties and, as a result, they interact with their partners with the same demeanour. Long-term, this can alter our appearance in the eyes of our partner, reducing attraction.

You Don’t Take Care Of Yourself As You Used To:

Making time for self-care when a couple has a lot on their plates can be difficult. The time and effort you used to put into looking and feeling good have passed you by, which can have an impact on how you feel about yourself and how your partner sees you. It’s not just about appearances when we take care of ourselves: it’s about staying safe, feeling optimistic, and enhancing our mood. Many people may consider it vain, but you owe it to yourself and your partners to be your best, which involves eating well, having enough sleep, exercising, and focusing on your mental attitude.

What To Do When You Are No Longer Attracted To Your Partner?

Don’t dispose of your relationship only because your feelings of desire for your partner have vanished. To start, ask yourself a few questions to figure out when and why you started to lose interest in your relationship. To help identify the root of the problem and guide you toward possible solutions, experts suggest beginning with the following questions:

  • Was the loss of interest gradual or sudden?
  • What happened before you were aware of the change?
  • What steps have you taken to resolve the issue so far, and what has been the outcome?

Consider any part you might have played in the loss of attraction before pointing fingers. Maybe you’re projecting an aspect of yourself that you don’t like onto your spouse. Perhaps you aren’t putting in the same level of commitment as you were earlier in the relationship, which has an impact on your partner’s conduct.

If you still feel that your relationship has no future, it is often recommended that individuals consider whether revealing this information would result in positive improvement before disclosing it. If that’s the case, make sure to treat it with care and tact, rather than blaming or criticising it. Since these discussions can be emotionally charged, keep the conversation focused on the changes you’ve seen in the relationship and make it clear that your intention is to reignite the flame.

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