Being Restrained: Feeling Free

Freedom in Restriction.

BDSM 20th Dec, 2020

Being Restrained:

We are there with our partner and they go to the bedside table. Our heart beats in wild anticipation. Suddenly they pull out some ropes and our whole body goes rigid. Why would they want to tie us up? What could it possibly do or make me feel that I would prefer. In today’s age when there is something of a taboo about being put in a submissive position there are many who would fundamentally hate the idea of being restrained.


To what extent is this socio-cultural influence as opposed to what they themselves want? There is no easy way to know, but what we can look at are those who partake in being tied up and how it makes them feel. 

Most would agree that there is a disconnect between what our brain experiences and the reality that we inhabit. For example, two people can be in the same situation and yet their recollections are vastly different. This points to the fact that, broadly speaking, experience is subjective. What is the experience like to a person being tied up for the first time?

It may be a cliche, but freedom may be found in chains and those being restrained may only be getting free from their perception of themselves. How did you feel when you finally did that thing out of your comfort zone? Even if things didn’t work out quite the way you wanted them too, we would assume that you still came away feeling liberated. 

Sex is an act that people find freedom in as it is a place where we can fully focus on the task at hand. Sex is primal and therefore it inhabits a place in our brain that is prehistoric and can trump all the stuff that otherwise occupy our brains. Similarly, the last thing a starving person thinks about is their tax bills.

If one is already in a liberating situation, participating in something outside one’s comfort zone and concentrating only on the pleasure the act brings, then this is a clear path to a mind of freedom.

As perception is subjective, the effects will be individual, however if one is lucky enough to find a partner who will participate in something so primal and submissive, a successful path to freedom might be achieved.

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