Pleasure In Pain

3 Ways to use pain to make sex fire.

BDSM 09th Apr, 2021

When someone says there is pleasure in pain, the common human reaction is to avoid it at all costs, although some seem to seek it, or even rejoice in it. The spark and energy created by stimulus is like electricity for humans. When you recall truly memorable moments, they will, no doubt, include some from both the positive and negative columns. The importance was less about what you felt, but instead how strongly you felt it. 

  1. Combine Stimulation: 

I’m fairly sure I would have universal agreement that sex is great! The reasons for this however range from connection to chemistry and even a combination of both. The reality is that human beings receive, and act upon, a series of impulses. Administer one type of stimulation and we act one way, another and the result will most probably be similar. When it comes to sex, retention is high as it is less about the individual feelings and rather how they combine to make the greater whole. Romanticism aside, move to the point of orgasm. By altering the expected feelings of pleasure and adding something painful, the two will be combined, enhancing the pleasure, and increasing the intensity of the moment. Admittedly a basic application, so I encourage you to be creative, while maintaining the highest level of consent and comfort for you and your partner.

  1. Learn To Use Stimulation Like Paint, The Canvas Like Your Partner:

Recognising the significantly increased intensity level caused by combining pain with pleasure, thought and complex emotions must now be factored in. Causing someone pain in no small deal. By evoking the most basic and powerful emotion as fear, to lesser states of anticipation, worry and anxiety, the reality is that humans can easily become addicted to strong emotive responses and the greater the lows, the more powerful and intoxicating the highs. Learn the effects that your actions have on your partner and realise that sex can be like a chef creating a meal. It is not just about how you make them feel, but also how strongly they feel and how much their emotions are pushed to the extremes. If the two of you decide to navigate your sex life in this direction, choose the extent to which you will play on the very edge of someones comfort zones, and understand it is tricky and comes with risks. The rewards however are up to the both of you to decide if it’s worth it. This is not to mention that withholding pleasure can create frustration and longing, this however is a topic for another time.

  1. Combination Is Key, But Be Willing To Make Mistakes To Learn:

So, even with such understanding, there is knowing what to do and when. During sex, we might know that we want to create a certain emotional state, but to do so it will take balance and timing. Start small with the example I gave at the start. It is also a way to discover how your partner feels about such things. If the response is positive to something small, chances are you will be given more trust to do more. Ultimately, this kind of sex lives and dies with trust. So, as you develop and learn, you will realise how pain can be, for starters, used to prolong, shorten, tease and enhance pleasure. The key is knowing how to balance pleasure and pain in the right amounts, just like cooking with too much salt or pepper. As you grow, learn to enjoy the process and always be open, as communication will lead to the best and most powerful experiences.

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