5 Tips For a Happy Life You Can Get From Couples’ Therapy

Couples’ therapists share strategies to build strong and lasting relationships.

Therapy 26th Jul, 2021

We all like to think that we know best when it comes to handling relationships, but sometimes, you need the help of professional therapists to get over fundamental problems. They can share some ways to solve relationship problems and teach you insights that you may never come up with. Although therapy is a bit expensive and time-consuming, many couples find it beneficial to do it. 

When a couple feels stuck and can’t find a realistic solution, therapy is a good choice. Getting treatment does not mean that your relationship has failed or that something is wrong. Here are some suggestions from couples’ therapists to keep the spark alive and work together to create a good relationship. 

Remind Each Other Why You Are Together: 

After being together for years, it is easy to forget what brought the two of you together in the first place, and it is even easier to take it for granted. This is why therapists often advise couples to use simple techniques to try to stay in love. It’s easy to fall into a routine. Your partner will not always look young, so tell yourself why you love them. This is an excellent exercise to revive old memories. 

Accept the Fact That You Are Different: 

If you are the exact opposite of your partner, you can start to wonder why you are together in the first place. You might even think that your differences are the source of all problems. A therapist will point out that there is a reason for that: opposite-sex attraction. So, the fact that you are different can be very beneficial, especially if you learn to accept it. In an unhealthy relationship, we dislike the opposite characteristics of our partner. In a healthy relationship, we value the differences because we can learn something from them. 

Relationship Problems Are Never One Partner’s Fault: 

Although it may be tempting to blame the other person for problems in the relationship, any therapist wants you to know that it is hardly one person’s fault. Instead, the problem is the interaction, the dynamics of the two of you developing and improving over time. There is usually a trigger. That same thing can cause partners to react in a certain way. The wonderful thing is that both partners have the ability to interrupt this process at any time. Fighting is forcing yourself to do something new so that you are not limited by the influence of the problem. 

Don’t Assume That You Know What Your Partner Is Thinking:

Many therapists point out that when we assume we know what our partner is thinking, we are generally wrong. Instead of rushing to conclusions, try to understand your partner’s point of view and thoughts. Always aim to ask depending on what you know and not on what you think you know. You are wrong most of the time, which is not too bad because you probably assume the worst every time. When you stop assuming, you can finally understand each other’s point of view and, given the resultant reduction in stress, develop a deeper bond with your partner. 

Don’t Talk In Absolutes When Arguing:

When arguing with your partner, try to avoid absolutes. If you think about it, every time you hear someone tell you “never” or “always,” you unknowingly enter the “passive-offensive” mode. Your mind knows that this is not an absolute truth. You will want to defend yourself instead of listening and considering their opinions.

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