3 Steps to Finding Yourself: a Life-Changing Guide

3 Tips to find out who you are before it’s too late.

Identity 29th Jul, 2020

The eternal question, who am I? These 3 steps to finding yourself will be a great start to finding the answers. People can seem to spend their whole lives trying to work it out. This is most likely because it involves more questions like what are my dreams and why am I here. We are born with the mind and body that we get. Yes, we can make alterations, but we never get a completely new vessel.


Likewise, we don’t usually get a choice who gives life to use nor who raises us. For many years we are impotent and powerless then, when we finally get some responsibility, we realise that we are more than just a little fascinated to know who we are. More than just an extension of our parents we begin to wonder what kind of person we want to be. Below are 3 simple and actionable steps to help find who we are.

3 Steps To Finding Yourself:

Spending Time Alone: 

Being comfortable in one’s own skin is easier if we can do it with solitude. It is human nature to mirror those around us and to seek validation in our own identity choices but where we end and others begin can start to blur, making us lose track of who we were. By spending time alone and contemplating without influence from others, even other media it is easier to hear our own voices and think completely for ourselves about ourselves.

How often will people be told about their ancestry, so that traditions can be carried out? Or when a child has the same sports team as their parents and funnily enough make it an important part of their identity. The only person who should every choose who you are is you. 

Spending Time With Others:

This might seem slightly contradictory but the point of difference is the type of time you spend with others and the types you spend time with. Broadening our minds by learning new and different things can not be achieved by exclusively spending time with those of  a similar ilk. A prime example of this are the positive reflections of those who have travelled, citing the variety of people, places and experiences that have expanded their minds.

Be adventurous and absorb that which you may find uncomfortable or foreign, and with an open mind you’ll often discover that which was previously off-limits to be rewarding or at least informative. By melding that which we know with that which we don’t goes a great way to helping one discover who one is.

Write a List:

If every day we write a list of what we want for ourselves and a list of what sorts of things we believe are most important, sooner or later you will find what changes and importantly what doesn’t. It is normal for our sensibilities to change and evolve over time, however some deep seated character traits or ideas about what is right and wrong usually remain consistent.

An easy way to see what is there to stay and what isn’t, is to keep a list going to a few months.. Then, without reading the previous lists, go back and see all of the lists chronologically. See what came and went and what was important to you, because it’s a great clue to who you are.

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