Cheaters: How to Avoid the Serial Variety

Bad boys or bad girls don't always make the best partners.

Relationships 22nd Dec, 2020

Cheaters, like all other people, come in all shapes, sizes, colours and personalities. There are those who want loving, faithful relationships, ones who prefer being single and have ‘friends with benefits’, those who go it solo, and all the shades in between, including serial cheaters. The challenge is knowing how to identify them, or the trait in yourself that allows you to fall for them. We all get caught out from time to time, mind you, and you may even give them a second chance, just don’t give them a third.



One type is the bad boy or girl, who are all too easy to fall for, especially when you are in your teens and twenties. They can seem glamorous and just a little dangerous, which can be very appealing, particularly when there are so many ‘bad boys/girls turned good’ characters in the movies and on television. There is the difference between those who are capable of change yet walk a fine line with the law, and those who are thrill seeking addicts.

Many who are labeled “bad” may simply dress differently or have had a difficult upbringing. This is where you need to use your intuition and ask for a second opinion from family or that friend/s whose judgement you trust better than your own. Instinctively, however, you will know who is genuinely worth pursuing or not. Put the crazy sexual attraction hormones on mute and tune into that instinctual voice.

Another type of serial cheater is the insecure, lacking in self confidence kind you just want to save. You may go on a wonderful journey of self acceptance with them. Alternatively, they may need to have sex with multiple partners as a way to boost their confidence and nothing you can do will change that. In that case, they are addicts and the only person who can stop addictive behaviour is the addict themselves. If they ask for help, then perhaps they are ready to change, or this could just be a manipulation technique they have used before.

If you are in a relationship with someone who repeatedly cheats, then perhaps you are the insecure one, attracted to a serial cheater believing that is what you deserve? Nothing could be further from the truth and you must acknowledge that. You may need to start the process today of talking with friends, family or a professional to find it within yourself to walk away.

A lack of self confidence can also lead to the type of cheater who is incapable of being alone. People who repeatedly go from one relationship to the next can often want you to fix them. They probably don’t even realise they are looking outside of themselves for a confidence that can only be found within. It is possible that they will realise this through yours or professional help. If this does not occur then they will keep looking for that person who can fix them and they may find them before they leave you.

If you meet someone new who has a string of continuous relationships behind them, take a long, hard look at them before committing your heart.

The final common type is the person who is still in a relationship and cheating with you. It is best to stop that relationship right now. You may wait for them to end their current relationship and then get together, but don’t let them cheat with you. If it’s meant to be, then it will wait until the current relationship is over. Do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Ultimately, trust yourself, listen to your intuition and if something is bothering you but you can’t pin it down, talk to your often opinionated friends and family. You don’t have to take everyone’s thoughts on board, but it can certainly help you sift out, or leave, a serial cheater.

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