7 Tips For Learning To Live With Loss
Loss is never easy but these tips will help.
Family 22nd Dec, 2020
Learning to live with the loss of a loved one is a journey that we all take at different times in our lives. There is no one-size-fits-all road map for grief however the tips below may help you to come to terms with their death. The most important thing is to give yourself the time and space you need to grieve. Knowing the seven natural stages to grief may also help: shock; anger; denial; guilt; bargaining; depression; and acceptance. Although you may or may not experience any or all of these in no particular order, understanding that you are not alone can be a comfort in difficult times.
Be Kind To Yourself:
Your “normal” will significantly change when you lose a loved one. Although you may have personal family obligations, do what you’re able and lean on friends and family to take up the slack.
Hesitance to enter into either emotionally or financially debt may get in the way. Try to push past this perfectly acceptable feeling and accept the help you’re offered. As those around you may not know of your specific circumstances, never fear to ask for the help you require.
It’s Ok Not To Be Ok:
When the gravity of the situation causes unbearable grief, be kind to yourself. Often, momentarily shutting out the world by taking a bath, watching television or going to a sporting event, may be the relaxing tonic you require. If that is not possible, find a quiet place to be alone, cry if you need to, and come back to yourself.
Maintain your regular activities, like sport, writing, knitting or something else entirely. Although you may not be able to do it as often as usual, keeping up a routine may really help.
Give Yourself Time:
Everyone grieves in different ways and at their own pace. It’s not a race, do whatever is right for you on any given day. Grief is like a mountain, sometimes you climb it in a day, other times you circle it for years. Even if you have experienced bereavement before, each time is different. Self kindness is the best medicine regardless of whether you think you are taking too long to grieve, or not long enough.
Talk About Your Loved One:
Talk to your family and friends about the person who has died. Remembering the happy times, the sad times, the funny times, or the downright embarrassing, will all help process your grief. If you are unable to speak with anyone, or prefer not to, sit and think about your loved one, look at photos, allow yourself to grieve.
Make Your Peace:
If your relationship with your loved one was difficult, or if they had a partner/parents/children still living who are doing things you don’t agree with, try to come to terms with that. Carrying around the rage only hurts you in the end. You may need professional help to do this, seek it out rather than let any wounds fester.
Learning to live with loss is all about being kind to yourself. This is a challenging time, and remembering to look after yourself can really make all the difference. Celebrate your self-care achievements, from the small one’s at the start like having a shower, to the bigger one’s later, like going out for a meal or a night out. Remember to check in with people and accept support when you need it. Any, or all of the tips above may help, try them out, see how you go. Above all, stay in close contact with friends and family and comfort each other in your time of need. You can get through this together.